I doubt if Jeremy Roenick and the fake-blonde 'girlie' he usually has on his televised right could tell the difference between St. Louis Blues 'candy-hand' goalie labeled 'Stewart 98' and Jason Arnott during a 98.6 degree Normal, Illinois exam without any help from Mitch Berger.
Anti-drug stress relief is a good goal. I can admit my favorite Chicago Blackhawk D-man isn't Chris Chelios to my dentist before or after my dentist shoots me up with pain killers instead of launching pucks at me. There isn't even a D in the name 'Chris Chelios'. My anti-Blackhawk dentist makes some weird exception for Patrick Kane when it comes to his anti-Blackhawks religion, but he might be attracted to the number88 and only THINKS he likes Patrick Kane. What have written and what I am about to write is true, and I will not change the names because I'm not being paid to protect anyone's reputation. If Dustin Byfuglein wasn't my favorite Wheat King, he might have been my favorite Chicago Blackhawk, especially in the 'popsicle' contests he had against some nice man named Jonathan Toews.
Wayne Gretzy's 92 goals are not even as good as the works of James Menger or Robert Skaradzinski while I we were assigned to Milwaukee squad 92, nor are Gretzky's 92 goals as good as a recording of Reggie White's interview with Michael Rood.
It is much easier to get a goal past a goalie that isn't wearing a goalie mask than it is to get a puck past a goalie wearing a decent goalie mask. Many of the goalies that Wayne Gretzky shot pucks toward did not have the QUALITY of protective gear that goalies now have. Many of the goalies might have trained as youths without any masks at all, and their tendency later on, even with a mediocre mask, might have been the same as without a mask. Just suppose Wayne Gretzy was accurate launching pucks and happened to be aiming at the opposing goalie's head. If the goalie he was shooting at KNEW that was a possibility and the goalie his face in order to save his own life, but then he didn't save the puck Gretzky launched. Because ice hockey goalies now must wear masks, goalies are less likely to move if they know an opponent is aiming for their head area, and no one will be able to score as many goals as Gretzky did because of the good change in GOALIE equipment, not because no one is as 'great' or as talented as Wayne Gretzy anymore.
This could easily be proved if the NHL prohibited goalies from wearing helmets and masks, just like it was in the risky old days of Henri Richard's hockey era. As a result of taking away the protective helmet from a goalie, many more pucks would go into the net because the goalie would be much more willing to move rather than getting hit in the head with puck, which possible could prevent him from living until his team's next scheduled work day because it could cause a deadly wound to the goalie that might not get miraculously healed.
If Paul Douglas Coffey disagrees with this 'Gretzky's not that great after all' , he can return any gift he ever got from me, including a Wisconsin Badger hockey jersey signed by me, in person. I'll make sure I tell my dentist that Paul Coffey is my favorite Chicago Blackhawk just to try to get his Catholic mind away from Chris Chelios or to the difference between Tom Kane's place, Evander Kane's place and Patrick Kane's place and Milwaukee's Kane Place in 'Street Justice' talk when I next have a scheduled information exchange with my wealthy dentist after Lorraine Mielke's birthday, which isn't on December 25th . My very talented dentist , Charles Beckwell, does not give discounts to Chicago Blackhawk fans, so I won't wear my Chicago Blackhawk gear to his office anymore because I still like to seek a 'bargain' on necessities and health care procedures every day except on the Sabbath.
My Michigan dentist is an ' OK dude' that does fine dental work for a married Catholic man that didn't go to Marquette dental school but has been going to St. John Vianney; oral reports suggest that he might be switching to St. Isadore's for some reason, but no written reports have confirmed that non-Charlotte Catholic move. At times, Charles Beckwell seems as funny as Jake Andres of Mosinee used to be and Beckwell is possibly as funny as Stephen Kream still is.
I hope you laughed and subsequently decreased your stress level by reading this non-diary post, because I laughed and decreased my stress by writing it.
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