If there really is a toilet paper shortage, I have developed 2 working models for traveling bidet system; my background in mechanical engineering courses and chemistry has aided me in this most economical way to highly reduce toilet paper use. It is common knowledge that women use toilet paper even when their bodily discharge is only liquid in nature. In order to prevent being selfish as music salesmen such as Mark Hall or Chris Tomlin, I am not going to charge anyone for my creative idea intended to assist humanity.
Instructions for a HOME mobile bidet unit:
1. Purchase a good sized syringe ( not an little dropper) such as 'Safety 1st' nasal aspirator found in 'baby' sections.
2. Scrounge some old somewhat decorative beverage mug that looks reasonable near your home commode but that you are not very fond off anymore. I happen to choose 'Sawbill Canoe Outfitter' pottery mug which has good structure and is more useful than a dead mounted fish.
3. Once you realize the syringe fits nicely into your scrounged decorative mug, plan to keep it on the toilet tank top or nearby the commode.
4. Scrounge some small, soft cloth ( washcloth) and place it on the bar or in the container where you no longer have toilet paper.
5. When it's time to urinate or pass liquidated feces ( the runs), fill the mug with very warm water before you seat yourself. Then after expelling your fluids, spray clean water via the syringe onto your soiled body parts several times... enough times until you feel that the remaining urine drops or liquidated feces has been substantially rinsed away. Then dry your CLEANED and rinsed area with your persona soft material cloth.
6. DO NOT PUT THE SOFT CLOTH IN THE COMMODE!!!!!!! Return it to the tiny drying rack that used to hold toilet paper until the shortage occurred.
7. It's best if each household member creates their own set of mug, syringe and washcloth. Be creative and maybe scrounge some sort of carrying case or a small storage container for each family member's mobile bidet!
Instructions for the "AWAY' mobile bidet:
1. Purchase a large syringe or nasal aspirator such as 'Safety 1st' bar code #8 84392 61972 5.
2. Scrounge some sort of beverage travel mug with a cap that closes, even if it is a cheap plastic model often given away by businesses. I happened to choose one from 'Accelerated rehabilitation centers' which is a nice color blue and fits nicely into a 'Texas Tamale Company' gourmet black bean tamale bag with a drawstring.
3. Even if you are a driving patient rather than a putting patient who is first, keep the syringe and your version of a tiny golf towel or a terrific Chris 'terry' washcloth in the beverage mug and keep your improvised non-explosive bidet device in your purse or pocket when you travel, making sure you fill the travel mug with very warm water ( or if you are in haste, cold water) before you seat yourself on the commode. Toss in a couple of sandwich bags into your beverage mug to store the tiny terrific towel in. After all, how many times did very smart ecologically wiser people use cloth handkerchiefs before subjecting them to a real laundry cycle?
4. After expelling your bodily fluids, spray clean water via the syringe onto your soiled bodily parts as carefully as possible, avoiding careless water spray by targeting your crotch area.
5. Carefully pat yourself dry and place the reusable cloth in a plastic sandwich bag before relocating back into your cheap plastic beverage mug that you are not really that fond of.
6. Once out of your 'AWAY' zone, find a place to air out your terrific tiny towel so it is fit for several more uses.
7. I do not recommend drinking from your mobile bidet unit before washing it like any other travel mug, but it probably will stay cleaner than most of the surface area of the state of Michigan even before you get a chance to sanitize it as needed.
True Blue Peace to You! May this conservation device significantly reduce the stress in your life since you no longer have to fear being without toilet paper. With enough squirting of water, even thicker feces will be loosed and drop into the commode eventually and what remains to be swiped away by the towel won't be any worse than what has been rinsed out of cloth diapers for centuries!
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