Monday, November 12, 2018

Home Plate Changes For An Alley Cat

When I recognize Leo Genn in a   movie faking WWII scenes without Olivia deHaviland, it is because I can still see without a telescope.When I heard a song called 'The Last Watch' a bit after 'Bridge Over Troubled Water', I cried because I felt like the people of Stevens Point have one last night to 'love me' rather than force drugs into me. Should it be with regrets that 224 Georgia Street North can never feel like 'home' to me? I had described 'home' as a place where people care when you arrive and care when you leave, but for the first time in my life neither my father nor my mother seemed to care when I left.  I am baffled at their apathy, but not confused about my location and still confident that the words of Psalm 91 will comfort me as much as a wonderful apple from Marcia and Casimir Janowski's orchard.

Maybe Habibi's or the Wicked Willow might feel like 'home' to a person without a more permanent dwelling since the employee's there seemed to care when I arrived and cared when I left. Maybe Wisconsin Rapids might feel more like home since there were people there that cared when I arrived and cared when I left them some good gifts.  I learned that I am not the only daughter who has a sibling that will not visit her, and exchanging Iron City beed for pecan pumpkin bread mix is what caring friends can do after discussing a brother that won't set aside time to visit them. 

There have been a few times I have powerfully released gifts received from people who no longer loved me enough to spend time with me and certainly seemed to stop loving me due to other draw plays. I threw a Seiko watch into a farmer's field, left behind 2 'Build-a-Bear' items at 1475 Water Street in Stsvens Point because they were too painful to retain. When an item reminds you of what you thought was genuine love, but that love is no longer felt or literally has been stolen from you, it makes no sense to keep that item although it does still make sense to me to keep the commandments of Yehovah.

I will retain a couple empty, rusty beer cans that my brother Robert gave me because although my brother does not seem to know how to behave like a living saint,  Milwaukee people have an interest in beer history. I launched a soft stuffed 'Rudolph' item to the same area the bear that emitted 'Happy Mother's Day' was left in, since Christmas and Mother's Day  have become painful days to me and many others like me who have Yehovah's appointed times such as the 7th day of rest, Pesach, Yom Kippur and Yom Teruah.  Of course, I wonder who took the 2 bears that I left behind and who will pick up the 'Rudolph' that I did not fumble but launched because I know that Yehovah hates the spirit of Christmas, the lies of 'Santa Claus'  and the Rudolph Hess types.... but Yehovah does not hate D.A.R.E. bears. 

A sibling suggested that the next time I travel to Stevens Point, I should only visit my parents rather than try to help them with garden clean up or household clean up, but that would be contrary to my spirit and I would feel lazy and unthankful to them if I was not able to do some housework and yard work for them. I suppose if they really need help, they can hire someone or ask my male siblings to help them while I just focus on taking care of my own property which my child is not willing to help me with at least once per year.

Somehow, Macomb is going to have to feel like home for awhile since I have to try to care about myself when I arrive and have to care about my safety when I leave for whatever I consider to be 1st base when pesach roles at least 5 months from now. I almost bought a card that had a red fox crrying on the front with the words 'Good Bye' and had 'You'll miss me' on the inside, but it is possible that my parents won't miss me for some spiritual warfare reason. I settled for a sympathy card to send them which says : 'Wishing you Peace' on the outside and on the inside, "May time ease your sorrow and soothe your soul" since my mother clearly was unhappy when I last saw her. My conscience is not vexed because I know the acts of service I have done for my parents over the past few years  were good in Yehovah's eyes and what I did made their dwelling safer for them. I felt like it was a free gift to them in the past to clean their garage, thoroughly clean their kitchen and scrubbing their bathrooms as well as I did for my uncle Andrew Beine, vacuum and dust their bedroom and living room, make walking surfaces safer in their yard area and organizing gardening tools in a golf cart. I have brought them good, healthy foods and a few sweet desserts rather than bring them unclean animal products that neither St. Mary nor St. Joseph would have called 'food' if they were placed in their Bethlehem manger.

In order for me to leave Portage county with a good memory, it is the wonderful faces of Marcia and Casimir Janowski that I will seek and find before I leave Portage County like a baby locust who is going to attempt to survive for at least the next 5 months. Maybe my adversaries rather view me as a daughter ejected from her mother's dwelling at the end of the 7th month with a better chance to survive safely for a few years with angelic protection rather  than viewing me as child ejected from her mother's womb in the first trimester and sold to a wretched anti-Yehovah research laboratory.  

I long for the day there are at least 12,000 Gd's on earth so 12,000 Asher's can be sealed.  I'm not interested in guiding any of myths of 'Santa Claus'. Do I need to develop  closing statements now?

Thankfully, my old leather 'CAT' (Caterpillar) brand boots can go in and out of bowling alleys or alleys with garages. Thankfully, I don't feel as obese as Matt Patricia even if I am not as thin as Zach Zech or as popular with UWSP hockey people as hockey coach Alex Todd. I'm thankful that I never had to wear a white police officer shirt like the real police women of Cincinnati on OWN television. I'm thankful for every night that is better than October 6,1994 and May 16,1998 since on both of those nights were worse in hindsight than my first day as a high school student or a night alone in the Cobbletone Inn of Stevens Point, WI. I'm thankful I'm never going to have another day like April 20, 2012 because I am never getting divorced again.

The hypocritical female Cincinnati officer who does not like being called 'baby' and wants to be called 'officer' should not being calling men she does not know 'hun' and would improve her own speech pattern be calling men she does not know 'sir',' mr. complainant' or 'mr. suspect' .



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