2nd Hand Narcissism

 Listening briefly to Jordan B. Peterson is an exquisite choice if you actually want to get a reasonable opinion on humanity.  It didn't take me long to realize that a man who I have always loved very much is adversely affected by what I will refer to as 2nd hand narcissism.  If a spouse smokes cigarettes, the non-smoking spouse still is harmed by the cigarette smoke. If your spouse is a narcissist,  she will want almost everything to revolve around her and her personal objectives, regardless of what may be best for her husband.

Once a narcissist has trained her husband to refrain from being critical of her, he eventually does not want any truth coming his way that is not endearing or complimentary because as an integral part of his wife's agenda, any method of correction would deter the pattern he has developed of not being critical of his wife publicly or privately.  Indeed, it is easier to inflict 2nd hand narcissism on your husband if you are an attractive woman outwardly, but inwardly she is seeking personal attention, popularity and plenty of 'you are so awesome' types of commentary toward her.

Because I have lived through most school and employment situations where correction was not only desired it actually was mandatory for me to succeed and survive  over the courses and years that I accepted correction, I can spot those who in error, think being rebuked or corrected is a sign of hostility. Actually, the most hostile people in families don't even care enough to try and correct themselves or allow input from those people who clearly are behaving in a morally acceptable manner. Morally acceptable behavior has to be a willing to work for that which you desire to acquire, rather than ask others to contribute to your desires that ultimately will feed your ego, not your family household when the 'donations' are not longer being acquired.

A man that is affected by 2nd hand narcissism might not realize how trapped he has been until he is relieved of his duty as husband either by divorce or death. Such divorce or death of the narcissist wife might allow him a final opportunity to learn to please other people in his family that were present long before Mrs. Narcissist arrived and conquered a man who had previously made good efforts toward family members that assisted in him up to and including his teenage years.  Once you realize that the condition that is causing adverse reactions toward any and all family members who desire not only to be truthful but to do repair work in the extended family, you also have to realize that asking a man to escape 2nd hand narcissism is no different than asking him to escape 2nd hand smoke somehow. The non-smoking man would have to pressure his smoking wife into quitting or emitting her pollutants a distance from him; the man who wants his wife to stop her narcissism  has to do the equivalent of pulling lit cigarettes out of his wife's mouth in order for her to be become more rational, less egostistic and  willing to be corrected in her acts toward herself and those who she has intentionally chopped out of her husband's life either her demands he lift her up in everyone else's eyes regardless of her selfish inner structure.

It's easy to lift up chaff or a loaf of leavened bread.  It's not easy to grow that grain that gets separated from the chaff and is actually physically beneficial to the human body and family gatherings.

Face to face corrections are the most effective.  Your electronic device doesn't really care if you are affected by 2nd hand narcissism, nor does your electronic device care if you never  speak to, visit or write to your  parents, aunts or uncles, cousins  or grandparents who departed from whatever master or god had developed the narcissism within you through irrational belief that no matter what we do unto or refuse to do for  the elders in our family, 'Jesus Christ' is going to be able to hand a tasing grade over to  יהוה  's officials.

If you married a narcissist, it was a lousy choice. I've made plenty of lousy choices that hurt my family and myself, and there was no improvement of my condition until those 'choices' were no longer available. Take away the cigarettes, no second hand smoke. Eradicating the narcissist from your household is much more difficult than eliminating the cigarettes from your household, since the cigarettes won't 'fight back' and pierce you with verbal daggers if ignored or not 'lifted up'.

I hope that those spouses afflicting others with 2nd hand narcissism get corrected in as harsh a way as required to let her spouse turn back to his family while they are living;  the man requesting that  יהוה deliver him from the root of narcissism in his household will need to prepare for much sorrow and agony which he will be able to bear with the love and support of his real family members.

🐢    If your husband is a narcissist, he might try to cut you off from your family too and all of the problems of 2nd hand narcissism  might occur within the wife's body.