I don't want to end up with diabetes, so loading up with Pepsi or Coca-cola products and then beating up candy-filled 3-dimensional caricatures of people that I dislike is not a good way to use my budget. Here is an idea you will never get from the Martha Stewart types but might have already gotten from the Bill Watterson types:
1. Buy a t-shirt from an impoverished area such as a 'Salvation Army' store.
2. Customize the shirt by deviling a character or all characters. Duke and New Jersey people might be confused at your horned figures, but the real historical figures you didn't devil or horn will be even more important in history.
3. Characters that should be deviled are Buzz Lightyear, Star Wars characters and similar unrealistic entities but in those cases you are better off boycotting the entire lines of unreal characters.
4. Choose a shirt that is very historic, such as a 1996 Redwings team t-shirt. On Labor Day weekend in 1996, I was relocating under much pressure from Milwaukee to Mosinee, so 1996 was a historic year for me. Once I arrived in Mosinee, I was threatened by a terrible school district for wanting to home school my son. It seems like about 1/2 an hour ago, but a day is as a thousand years to people who rather study the Acts of the Apostles rather than study their poker chips and most professional sports extreme err lines.
5. Once you have chosen a shirt, cause a few 'black outs' or a few 'white outs' in order to integrate the shirt. I blacked out and 'deviled' Steve Yzerman, Dino Ciccarelli and Kris Draper and I only deviled Nick Lidstrom.
6. Turn some figureheads into pinheads by transforming the shirt into a golf-themed shirt. simply add a drawing of a golf flag coming out their fabric facsimiles. Ths most difficult part of this entire anti-candy project will be trying to wear the shirt on any day except Purim or Halloween without laughing too loud.
Now I have to try to understand Deuteronomy chapter 14, which clearly illustrates when tithing to Levites (which still haven't been clearly established) or when the 'Lord's' place is too distant from me and therefore delivering my produce or my 'tithe' is not expected of me. What I do understand is that selling all my crops (if I have any) and fruits of my labors, keeping the cash and distributing it to myself and to MY poor brethren ( not to my enemies) is completely legal and thankfully not profitable to the local anti-Eldad religious wrongs gatherings. As soon as my LORD tells me exactly where he wants me to worship 'in the land', I will be better advised about what Deuteronomy 14 really means.
No riddles today!
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